"I was seeing a psychiatrist when I was young, I didn't have a lot of friends, I was young and naive and my stepmom was abusive to me for much of that. I finally got into a fistfight with my dad when I was in 9th grade and that's when I finally left home. Things kept going downhill after that. I had no direction, I struggled to deal with people, and couldn't hold jobs because my mental health was all over the place. Now knowing what I have has been really helpful, I've done a lot of research and it's really helped me understand what's happening to me. There are other parts like attention deficit, hyperactive, it was hard for me to concentrate, I really had to narrow myself in to verbalize what I'm going through, what I'm thinking, so to be able to pinpoint it and condense it is good.

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I started abusing drugs at 19, weed and cocaine, living on the streets in the heights on and off. I can see now every single consecutive year I was struggling because of my mental problems, because of the issues I had ignored and should have had addressed. I was moving around different apartments, staying with friends and acquaintances, I would get panic attacks, my mental health was terrible, I would lose jobs, lose accommodation, then find a new job, move in with family or a friend, then lose my job and get kicked out again.

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I was getting panic attacks, was in and out of hospitals with no diagnosis, and my weight was all over the place too. Then I met my wife, we got married in 2009 and immediately moved to Mississippi. We just threw a dart at a map and went. We had no money, and she was pregnant, we didn't know anybody, we just decided to makeover".

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After some time, Charles and his wife moved back to Muskegon. "It was a lot of stress all at one time, we couldn't afford to live and work was so stressful. I was back to temp work, and my wife was struggling with post partial depression and couldn't handle looking after the kids anymore, she couldn't take care of them. So she left me and her children." Charles soon had to make the impossible choice to hand his children over to Child Protective Services. "CPS (Child Protective Services) told me that I could get them back when I had gotten back on my feet and had made progress with my mental health. They went to a great foster family, they're still there doing great, just doing so well. But nothing changed, any job I got, even at $20 an hour I couldn't afford to pay the rent and look after the kids and hold the job down. With no family support, I couldn't provide my kids stability. It was the hardest decision to make, but I made it.

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It was the hardest thing because my wife and kids were gone, I was on my own with no one to lean on, no community to help me, being by myself constantly all the time. I thought death was better than that.

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I was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. My psychiatrist had seen that my condition was getting worse, she diagnosed me as bipolar much earlier, but nothing was working, my condition was getting worse.​ It stresses me out, I don't want them, I wish I could just click my brain and turn it off. And EVERYone thinks they have the answer, this one thing I should be doing as if I didn't know my condition, everyone thinks they're a psychiatrist and I have to be thankful for their stupid suggestions. I'm trying to project my mind, think about things that make me happy, think better, live better, eat better, stay on my meds, to not worry about some of the things that come to my head, but it's hard. I worry about my kids and it's tough.

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This place (The Stand) is a doorway to freedom. The Stands is a last resort for many people coming through who want to kill themselves. Here they have someone who loves them and cares, you become part of something here, you can commune with people and have a reason for being. It's a needed place in this community, for the people who sincerely need it, people who generally need a family, need help, know they are not alone, to find a ray of hope. If I didn't have this place to come to when I was homeless, I'd be dead right now."

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The above story was put into writing by Pat ApPaul, a Welsh Documentary Photographer based in Michigan USA.